Are You Alright?

I believe that this poem is exceptionally self explanatory.  I’ll include no prologue.

Hope you have a sense of humor…..

“Are You Alright?”
 
I got into the cheetos and beer
I’m not suppose to have them
Cheetos due to heart disease
With cancer, beer’s condemned
 
I ate until my hands were orange
The keys of my laptop too
My face, my shirt, the TV remote
It was even on my shoe
 
The beer went down like fine champagne
Gone in just a swallow
I think my doctor’s out of town
I’ll have one more to follow
 
I finished the bag and hid it well
All evidence I disposed
I popped the top on a second beer
My reddened cheeks exposed
 
Sipping the second, I sat in the floor
Wondering how I’d arise
Clicking my way through the TV guide
Wishing I had some fries
 
I must have snoozed for just a while
Slumped like my demise
The remote still resting in my hand
A drunk, one might surmise
 
My legs were crossed upon the floor
My head down on my watch
The bottle lying across my leg
With beer spilled on my crotch
 
My spouse arrived and found me there
Thinking I had passed
Panicked, as she shook my soul
“Are you alright?” she asked.
 
I had to gather some sort of lie
To explain my current liquidity
Knowing quite well she’d see the light
And acknowledge my stupidity
 
I said, “I must have gone to sleep”
As I attempted a human stance
Needing her assistance to rise from the floor
With beer spilled on my pants
 
“I smell like beer,” I said with a smile
“I only had two, if you please.”
She gave me that look in disbelief
As she stared at the cheese on my knees
 
I’ll consider this learning material
And obey what my doctors have said
Now where did I drop that opener?
I think it fell under the bed.
 
 I hope you have an evening full of smiles and laughter…..

Michael